


Come Be Lonely With Me

by actuallyronanlynch



Series: I Kinda Wanna Be More Than Friends [2]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, POV Adam Parrish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24505177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actuallyronanlynch/pseuds/actuallyronanlynch
Summary: Ronan’s gaze flitted to where their hands brushed, the touch barely-there, and twisted slightly so he was facing Adam. They were so close, closer than Adam realised they’d been sitting, and Ronan moved his hand from Adam’s leg to the mattress beside him. Adam watched Ronan’s eyes dart down to his mouth, the same way they had in the car the previous night. Adam licked his lips unconsciously and watched as Ronan swallowed.(AKA Adam asks Ronan on a sort-of-date and they finally admit their feelings for one another).
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Series: I Kinda Wanna Be More Than Friends [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1770634
Comments: 26
Kudos: 286





	Come Be Lonely With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a sequel to [Don't Threaten Me with a Good Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24347101). Can be read as a standalone, but there's some context for this story in the previous fic.  
> Title is from This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory because imo it's an insanely Pynch song, especially from Adam's point of view.  
> Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

Adam had known about Ronan's crush on him since the end of winter break.

Crush wasn't the perfect term for it; it was diminutive and a bit childish, but if you boiled it down to its base elements, it was still objectively a crush. He'd noticed Ronan's stolen glances and the occasional kind gesture that didn't seem completely in character for him, but, at the time, Adam hadn't put the time or energy into trying to unpack the unexpected behaviour.

Ronan, to Adam, had initially just been a friend of a friend, tagging along to the cafeteria when Adam and Gansey met up after their evening classes had finished. They hadn't even gotten along at first; Ronan was belligerent and rude, and at the best of times he was standoffish and irritable. They'd bickered often and loudly, despite Gansey and Noah trying to act as intermediaries. They'd eventually settled into one another's orbit, though the arguments continued throughout their developing friendship.

Adam stayed on campus over winter break while his friends all returned home to their families. Gansey had invited him to come to D.C. and stay with his parents, but Adam had declined as politely as he possibly could. It was hard to explain to Gansey that having to spend Christmas at his _estate_ would've been more painful than spending the holiday alone. It wasn't as if the Parrishes had ever really celebrated Christmas in a traditional sense, anyway.

He spent the break picking up shifts at the garage and reading for leisure rather than necessity, since the semester had ended and he didn't yet have the course material for his upcoming classes. It was almost peaceful, if not a little lonely. He was used to being lonely, though, and took advantage of the time he wasn't working to catch up on the sleep he'd sorely missed out on during the first semester of college.

Three days before the end of winter break, while Adam was curled up in bed reading _Tender Is the Night_ , there was an unexpected knock at his door that he recognised by its cadence alone.

“Lynch,” Adam said as he opened the door, leaning heavily against the doorframe. “What are you doing back already?”

“I got sick of looking at Declan’s stupid face,” Ronan said, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans, “so I decided to drive back a few days early.”

“What about Matthew?” Adam asked. It seemed unlikely that Ronan would waste time he could be spending with his younger brother by coming back to campus earlier than he needed to. 

“He went up to Massanuten with his friends to ski for a few days before school starts back up,” Ronan said with a shrug. “I said goodbye to him on Wednesday.”

“You spent two whole days alone with Declan?” Adam asked, genuinely surprised. “That’s impressive, Ronan.”

“Yeah, well, like I said, I got tired of seeing his stupid face.” Ronan scuffed the toe of his boot against the linoleum of the hallway, tilting his head as he considered Adam. “Are the cafeterias still open? I’m fucking starving.”

“They’re operating on reduced hours. The caf’s open from five to six thirty for dinner.” Adam glanced down at his beat-up wristwatch. “There’s still forty minutes until it closes if you want to head over now.”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Ronan said, pulling his keys with his student ID attached from the pocket of his leather jacket.

They spent the last few days of break attached at the hip, going to the cafeteria together for meals, watching TV in the common room and going for walks around the snow-spattered campus. Adam suspected that while part of the reason Ronan left home early was to avoid being alone with Declan, he’d also come back to campus so that Adam wasn’t alone for the entirety of the break.

Adam didn’t know this for sure, but Ronan wasn’t exactly as subtle as he thought that he was.

-

The afternoon after The Strip Poker Incident, during their usual Friday lunch session, Adam asked Ronan out to dinner with him.

He left it somewhat ambiguous, suggesting that they grab something to eat off campus, half expecting Ronan to brush it off and make a snarky comment instead. Ronan accepted, though, which left Adam feeling strangely pleased as he headed off to his sociology tutorial.

Was it a date? How was he supposed to tell if it was a date? He kind of regretted not actually making it clear when he’d asked, but he’d wanted Ronan to have the opportunity to decline without making it uncomfortable.

Adam considered himself to be fairly intuitive, able to read people’s body language more closely than most. He’d had to learn early on how to read his father’s moods to avoid unnecessary confrontations, and it made him more perceptive of the people in his life. Ronan treated Adam differently than his other friends whether he meant to or not, but he hadn’t ever made a move on Adam.

Adam tried to push away his uncertainty as he entered the classroom his tutorial was held in, but the thoughts persisted and it made it hard to focus on the conversation happening around him. It was an elective course, anyway, and wasn’t as consequential as his other classes, but he still had to maintain his GPA.

He scrubbed a hand through his hair and continued to halfheartedly jot down notes. He tried to actually contribute to the discussion, as well, since participation counted towards his final grade, but his thoughts continued to circle back to Ronan and his tumultuous behaviour.

The hour passed quickly and was followed by his calculus lecture from two thirty until four, and then he was finally able to return to his dorm to work on his physics assignment until six.

He wondered if he should change into something else before going out for dinner, but would that be weird? Ronan had seen him at lunch and would probably notice if he changed, and it wasn’t like they were going anywhere that required him to dress up.

He settled for swapping his faded t-shirt for a slightly less faded maroon pullover before settling down to work on his paper. Fletcher was out of their dorm which meant Adam could focus solely on his assignment, and he used the opportunity to punch out a couple of pages and hastily edit what he’d previously written. He didn’t realise it was six until there was a knock at his door, and he quickly stood from his desk and crossed the room in a few steps.

“Hey,” he said, taking in Ronan as he stood in the threshold. He was wearing a black thermal long sleeve under his leather jacket in place of the paint-splattered t-shirt he’d been wearing at lunch, and Adam felt vindicated in his decision to change his outfit.

“Hey,” Ronan replied, twirling his car keys around his finger. “Ready to head out?”

“Yeah, just let me grab my coat.”

They left the warmth of their residence building behind and trudged down the street to Ronan’s designated parking spot, and Adam pulled his coat tighter around himself as they walked.

“It’s almost April,” he huffed, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. “It has no right to be this cold out.”

“At least it’s not snowing,” Ronan said, unlocking the car doors and falling gracelessly into the driver’s seat. 

“Don’t, you’ll jinx it.” Adam tumbled into the car with slightly more poise than Ronan, and as soon as he was buckled up, Ronan pulled them out onto the main road.

“Didn’t take you for the superstitious type,” Ronan said, casting a sidelong glance at Adam. Adam kept his gaze locked out the window and tried to suppress the warmth he associated with having Ronan’s eyes on him.

“I’m not really,” Adam said, reaching forward to fiddle with the stereo and flip between radio stations until he found something he liked. “But you can never be too careful when it comes to snow.”

The drive downtown wasn’t long, but it took them an extra couple of minutes to find a parking spot a few blocks over from the pub. Parking downtown was always a disaster, especially so on a Friday night, and Ronan grumbled under his breath as he slotted coins into the parking metre and slapped the ticket it printed onto his dashboard before locking the doors and starting off in the direction of the pub.

Adam kept up despite Ronan’s long strides, amused by how overdramatic he was. “It’s not that far.”

“Like you said,” Ronan muttered, tucking his hands into his pockets, “it’s fucking cold.”

The walk to the pub took less than ten minutes, and Adam bumped his shoulder playfully against Ronan’s when he continued to gripe about the weather. The inside of the pub was blessedly warm, and they shucked their jackets as they took a seat in a booth towards the back of the room, settling in and waiting for the waitress to bring around a pair of menus.

“So, how’s your final project for arts studio going?” Adam asked as he flipped through the slightly tacky pages of the menu.

“Good,” Ronan said, taking a sip of his soda. “Probably got another fifteen hours or so of work left, but. I like how it’s looking so far.”

Adam had seen a photo of Ronan’s work-in-progress in the group chat the previous week; it was a landscape scene of the edge of a forest surrounded by the shimmering water of a lake. He’d felt a little breathless when he’d first seen it. The detail was incredible even though it wasn’t finished; the reflection of the trees in the water, the texture of the bark of the trees and the rocks at the edge of the lake. Of course, it had been Noah who’d sent the picture. Ronan rarely deigned to respond in the group chat and certainly wouldn’t offer up his work for them to critique or praise.

“It looked good when Noah sent the picture,” Adam said, and Ronan grimaced. “If you don’t want him to send pictures of your work, you can just say so, Ronan.”

“He doesn’t mean anything by it,” Ronan sighed, toying with the straw in his drink.

“But it bothers you,” Adam said, not really a question.

Ronan made a noncommittal noise and tugged at the leather bands on his wrist. “It doesn’t bother me. It’s just awkward.”

“How?” Adam asked, genuinely curious.

“They’re just… personal, I guess.”

Adam thought he understood, but he’d never created anything that required him to lay his soul bare for others to judge. Chemistry and physics papers weren’t particularly intimate. “It’s not like we’re going to criticise them or anything. None of us are artists.”

Ronan scoffed at that, flipping his menu shut. “You can. I don’t care.”

“Again, not an artist,” Adam said. “I wouldn’t know how to critique it even if I wanted to.”

“I’ve heard you criticise movies and you aren’t a film major,” Ronan countered.

“That’s different,” Adam said. “And if you’re talking about _Tokyo Drift_ , that shit is definitely not _art_.”

“How dare you,” Ronan said, feigning offense with a hand clasped to his chest.

“If you showed me, like, some foreign indie film and asked me to critique it, I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“Probably with ‘The subtitles are too small. I can barely hear movies in English, let alone something in French,’” Ronan said in an overly nasal imitation of Adam’s voice.

“I can read subtitles just fine, thank you,” Adam said. “Henry made us watch a Korean drama last weekend and I had no trouble then.”

“So you just conveniently can’t follow subtitles when I get you to watch badass car movies?” Ronan teased.

“There was nothing badass about _Tokyo Drift_ ,” Adam said. 

Their waitress returned a few moments later and took their orders: two cheeseburgers, Ronan’s with onion rings and Adam’s with sweet potato fries.

“Did you get any work done on your physics paper?” Ronan asked after she’d left, smoothly changing the conversation.

“Yeah. I have a couple paragraphs left and then I’ve just gotta edit it.”

Ronan smirked and leaned back in his seat, the toes of his boots pressing against Adam’s sneakers under the table. “So what I’m hearing is that someone gets time to sleep in this weekend.”

Adam sighed and leaned his face against his palm. “Probably not. I work at the garage tomorrow and Sunday and I have a chem test on Monday to study for on top of my regular homework.”

Ronan looked a little bit disgruntled. “You’ve gotta sleep some time, Parrish.”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” Adam said, stretching his back until he heard a satisfying _pop_.

“That’s a long time to wait to sleep,” Ronan muttered.

“You’re one to talk,” Adam said. “I can hear your music all the way down the hall at like, three in the morning. I don’t know how Gansey hasn’t murdered you by now.”

“We lived together in high school, he’s used to it. He also never sleeps, so it’s not like it’s keeping him awake.”

“I guess our floor is just populated by insomniacs,” Adam mused.

“You aren’t an insomniac,” Ronan deadpanned. “I’ve seen you fall asleep in a booth at the library, man. You just force yourself to stay awake like a crazy person.”

“I’ve got stuff to do,” Adam protested, though he knew in reality he ought to get more sleep than he did. He’d sleep when he’d graduated college and had a secure job and a permanent roof over his head.

They lapsed into comfortable silence, and Adam stretched his legs out a little, too, feeling his ankle brush against Ronan’s with the movement. Ronan glanced down for a second but didn’t pull away, so Adam let their legs stay pressed together underneath the table.

Their food arrived shortly after and Adam dug in immediately, hungry after not having anything to eat since noon. Ronan reached forward to steal a couple of Adam’s fries, mirroring Adam stealing pepperoni off his pizza at lunch that afternoon. Adam made a noise of indignation, muffled by his full mouth, and settled for glaring at Ronan.

“Fair’s fair, Parrish,” Ronan grinned, and his smile did strange things to Adam’s insides.

It was scary how easy it was, being alone with Ronan. Just talking and messing around, not even having anything particular to get done. Adam often felt like he had to put in a lot of effort with some of his friends, to make sure he didn’t come across as disinterested and cold or make a joke that would be taken the wrong way.

It was easy, though, with Ronan. When Adam insulted him or made a harsh joke, he laughed and immediately quipped back with something equally scathing. They pushed each other around but Ronan was vigilant about Adam’s reactions, could sense when he needed space and gave it to him. He didn’t treat Adam like he was fragile, breakable, but he acknowledged Adam’s turbulent relationship with physical contact and respected it.

God, it was _so_ easy being with Ronan. Adam wished it was that easy with everyone else in his life.

They finished dinner quickly but hung around for a little while after, getting refills on their sodas and just talking about school and movies and their mutual friends. Eventually, though, they paid their respective bills (the waitress had brought them separate cheques without asking, and it saved Adam the internal struggle of having to decide whether he should pay for their food or possibly let Ronan pay) and shrugged on their jackets before meandering back out into the cold. 

“I don’t really want to go back to campus yet,” Ronan said, and Adam realised that he didn’t, either. “Wanna drive around for a bit?”

“Yeah,” Adam agreed easily, fiddling with the zipper on his jacket. “It’s still pretty early.”

They drove northwest towards the outer suburbs of the city, populated with strip malls and family homes as opposed to the dorms and mapped out buildings of the college campus. Ronan let Adam pick the radio station again with minimal complaint, though he did shoot Adam a look when the station he’d selected started playing old bluesy country.

They were approaching the third strip mall of the evening when Adam zeroed in on the bright sign of an independent coffee shop, and he gestured for Ronan to pull into the plaza. Ronan quirked an eyebrow but complied, flicking on his turn signal and pulling sharply into the parking lot.

“I wanna get a coffee,” Adam explained as he undid his seatbelt. “I’m gonna be up late tonight, anyway.”

Ronan rolled his eyes dramatically. “Shouldn’t you be pounding back Red Bulls like water at this point, man?”

“I think that’s overkill,” Adam returned, and hauled himself out of the car. “I’ll be right back.”

The coffee shop was mostly empty this late in the day, so it didn’t take long for him to be served. He ordered his usual and considered for a moment before ordering a second coffee, both in to go cups.

When he returned to the car, Ronan had his eyes closed with his head thrown back against the headrest. He cracked one eye open as Adam shut the door behind him, and Adam extended the second coffee as he took a sip of his own.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Ronan said, but he accepted the coffee and took a large gulp.

“It was, like, two bucks,” Adam said dismissively. Really, with the amount of times Ronan had shown up to the library with an extra coffee for Adam, he didn’t have a leg to stand on. “Just say thank you like a normal person.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” Ronan scoffed. He paused before he added, quieter, “Thanks.” He took another sip before setting the drink in the cup holder and began to pull out of the parking lot.

“It’s like a completely different city in this part of town,” Adam commented as they continued along the empty street. He rarely had a reason to come this far away from campus, and he was unfamiliar with the area.

“Gotta keep the townies separated from the students,” Ronan said with a low chuckle.

“I mean, I get it,” Adam said. “If this was my hometown, I wouldn’t want to deal with drunk twenty-somethings roaming the streets every weekend.”

“Oh, shut up, Parrish, you’ve never even been to a street party,” Ronan smirked. “You sound like Gansey. ‘ _It’s just not_ appropriate _. You’re disrupting traffic and leaving garbage all over the road._ ’”

“I don’t know. That last part sounds more like Blue to me,” Adam said. “She’d kick your ass if she knew you were littering.”

“ _I_ don’t litter,” Ronan said, offended. “The key is to bring a bottle of liquor instead of beer. Then you only have one bottle you can conveniently carry around all night.”

“And get alcohol poisoning and puke your guts out in the communal bathroom,” Adam supplied helpfully.

“That was _once_ ,” Ronan said heatedly. “And I didn’t even have alcohol poisoning.”

“Tell that to the poor custodian who had to clean up your vomit the next morning.”

They drove up a couple more streets before Ronan turned them around and started back in the direction of campus. It was after eight, and Adam needed to finish his physics assignment, but the thought of it made something like disappointment settle in his stomach.

When Ronan pulled back into his parking spot and cut the engine, he didn’t immediately move to undo his seatbelt or get out of the car. Adam sat in silence for a moment, waiting for Ronan to say something. When he didn’t, Adam ventured, “That was nice.”

“Yeah,” Ronan agreed, rubbing his hands over the tops of his thighs. He looked over at Adam, his gaze hesitant, and Adam watched his eyes flit down to his lips and back up again. Then he said, abruptly, “I had a good time. We should go again sometime.”

Adam blinked dumbfoundedly, forced himself to nod. “Uh, yeah,” he managed. “Yeah. For sure.”

He exited the car a moment after Ronan did, still reeling from the jarring change in Ronan’s demeanour. He followed Ronan inside and up to their floor, and they knocked fists lightly before Ronan continued down the hall to his dorm.

Adam let his door fall closed behind him and he leaned back against it, trying not to feel disappointed all over again. Maybe he _had_ been reading Ronan wrong this whole time and he wasn’t interested in Adam. But in the car—

“Hey, Adam,” Fletcher said from his spot at his desk, pulling Adam brusquely from his thoughts. “There you are. Do you have a second? I wanted to get your opinion on my introductory paragraph.”

Adam pressed his lips tightly together and forced out a breath through his nose before chucking his empty coffee into the trash and crossing the small dorm to his roommate’s desk. “Yeah, sure,” he said. “What class is this for, again?”

-

The following night, Adam was curled up in bed with his chemistry textbook spread out across the mattress next to him when his phone buzzed loudly from its place on his pillow. He reached for it and unlocked the screen, admittedly surprised to see a message from Ronan in his inbox.

 _want to watch a movie?_ the text read.

 _Sure_ , Adam replied, opting to ignore his chemistry for the moment. _Common room?_

 _nah sargent and her friend are cooking in there_ , Ronan said. _i dont know what you saw in her man._

Adam and Blue had briefly dated at the beginning of the year, and had quickly realised that they were far better suited to be friends. Adam also knew that Ronan was aware of Cialina’s name and was pretending he didn’t to be a shithead.

 _She’s a lot like you, Ronan,_ Adam typed. _And need I remind you that your best friend is currently pining after her like a lost puppy dog?_

 _dont compare me to sargent or i'll throw you out the window,_ came Ronan’s reply. He conveniently ignored the part about Gansey’s crush on Blue.

 _Yeah, whatever,_ Adam said. _Anyway, we can’t watch in my room because Fletcher’s in here working on an essay. Want me to come to yours?_

 _sure_. Adam waited a minute to see if another message would come, but predictably, one did not.

_Just let me finish this chapter. I’ll be over in ten._

Adam hastily finished studying the chapter he’d been working through and dragged himself out of bed. He was wearing pyjamas pants and an oversized hoodie, and he briefly considered changing before ignoring the thought and ducking out into the hall.

Ronan’s room was a few doors down from Adam’s, and Gansey’s dorm was directly next to Ronan’s. Adam noticed his door was open when he passed by, so he stopped and poked his head in to say hello before he continued to Ronan’s.

“Hey, Gans,” he said, and Gansey looked up from where he was bent over a textbook at his desk. He smiled his soft, genuine smile and pushed his glasses up higher on the bridge of his nose. Adam liked this version of Gansey the best: open and earnest and a little bedraggled. It was a far cry from his usual charisma and politeness, and he was typically only found this way in his dorm room late at night.

“Adam,” Gansey said, turning his chair so he was facing the doorway. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Lynch and I are going to watch a movie,” Adam said. “I saw your door was open so I figured I’d check in.”

Gansey smiled again and laughed, rapping his knuckles lightly on his textbook. “Burning the midnight oil,” he said, though it was only nine PM. Gansey had a habit of leaving his door open when he was in his room, but Adam felt it was probably somewhat of a detriment if he was trying to focus on his homework.

“Getting a head start on studying for exams?” Adam asked.

Gansey nodded solemnly. “Unfortunately. Though I’m sure you’ve started studying for exams yourself.”

“Yup,” Adam said. “That and finishing up the last assignments of the semester.”

“I cannot wait for summer break,” Gansey said with a sigh, returning his attention to his textbook.

Adam heard Ronan’s door swing open with a loud creak, and he leaned into the hallway with his arms folded tightly across his chest. He was wearing a loose pair of grey sweatpants and a t-shirt that fit a little too snugly around his shoulders. “Parrish, are you just gonna stand in the hallway and chat all night? I’m gonna start the movie without you.”

Adam rolled his eyes and cast a brief glance in Ronan’s direction. “Christ, you’re impatient. I’m coming now. Good luck with your studying, Gansey.”

“You two enjoy your movie,” Gansey replied, still staring down at his textbook. 

Adam followed Ronan into his dorm and pushed the door shut behind him. He rarely spent any time in Ronan’s room; Ronan was fiercely protective of his personal space, and it was hard to fit their entire group into a single dorm even if they wanted to. The dorm was messy, clothes left in a pile by the hamper rather than inside it, with a few posters plastered to the walls and textbooks strewn across the desk. 

Ronan grabbed his laptop and settled down on his bed, pulling up a streaming service and beginning to browse through the recommended movies. “What do you wanna watch?” he asked.

“You didn’t choose something already?” Adam asked, pushing at Ronan’s shoulder until he shuffled over so Adam could sit down next to him. “I thought you said you were gonna start it without me.”

“Whatever,” Ronan huffed, scrolling down the page too fast for Adam to read most of the movie titles. “I would’ve found something eventually. If you don’t have any suggestions I’ll just put something random on.”

Adam sighed indignantly and grabbed for the computer, pulling it from Ronan’s grasp and into his own lap so he could scroll through the movies himself. “I don’t know. Give me a genre.”

“Action,” Ronan said, and Adam fought back another eye roll. 

“Okay,” he drawled, clicking on the action section and slowly moving down the page as Ronan read over his shoulder. 

“They have _Fast & Furious 8_,” Ronan said, cocking an eyebrow.

“Hell no,” Adam said, quickly scrolling past it. “What about _Inception_?” Ronan made a complicated noise, and Adam actually allowed himself to roll his eyes this time. “What, does Leonardo DiCaprio get you too hot and bothered?”

“Yeah, I don’t wanna pop a boner while we’re watching a movie, Parrish,” Ronan quipped, leaning into Adam’s space and placing his hand on the trackpad to scroll faster. “ _Kill Bill_?” he suggested, looking up at Adam’s face.

“I’ve never seen it,” Adam admitted. “Is it good?”

“If you wanna see Uma Thurman go to Japan to murder some bitches,” Ronan said.

“What is it with you and movies set in Japan?” Adam asked, but waved his hand in assent. “Yeah, sure, put it on.”

Ronan grabbed the laptop back and started the movie, hastily navigating through the settings to turn on the closed caption subtitles. Adam knew it was for his benefit, and it would have been almost sweet if Ronan hadn’t teased him about it the night before.

Adam shifted slightly against the pillow that was propped between him and the headboard, settling down and letting his gaze fall on the laptop where it rested on Ronan’s thighs.

He wasn’t especially sensitive to violence in movies unless it was overly gratuitous, but he noticed Ronan glancing over at him every couple of minutes throughout the opening sequence to try to silently gauge his reaction.

“I’m fine, Lynch,” Adam said, not taking his eyes off the screen. “I wouldn’t have agreed to watch it if I thought it was going to bother me.”

Ronan grunted and focused his attention back on the movie, clearly displeased at having been caught. It was another one of those things that made Adam question Ronan’s feelings about him; while Ronan definitely cared about his friends more than he let on, he was usually careful to appear indifferent and not to be openly vulnerable around most people. But it clearly mattered to him whether or not Adam was uncomfortable during the movie to the point where he was too distracted to focus on it himself.

Adam fidgeted again, pulling his knees up towards his body and slumping backwards against the pillow.

“Stop moving,” Ronan said, shooting him an annoyed glare. “It’s distracting.”

“Trying to get comfortable,” Adam said, matching the look with one of his own.

Ronan sighed and leaned heavily against Adam’s side like he was trying to weigh him down so he couldn’t shift on the bed. Adam squirmed against him just to be irritating, and Ronan scoffed before reaching over and pressing one of Adam’s legs flat against the mattress with his hand. “Knock it off.”

He left his hand on Adam’s thigh, preventing him from fidgeting, and Adam found it hard to focus on the movie when he could feel the warmth of Ronan’s palm through the thin fabric of his pyjama pants. He let his other leg slide back down until it was stretched out in front of him and folded his hands carefully in his lap, seeing Ronan’s Adam’s apple bob in his peripheral vision as their arms brushed together at the movement.

Adam could feel his own pulse fluttering lightly in his throat, sped up just the slightest by Ronan’s proximity to him. Ronan wasn’t subtle, so Adam didn’t try to be, either; he stretched his fingers out ever so slightly, letting his pinky brush against the side of Ronan’s hand that rested on his leg, tentative and searching.

Ronan’s gaze flitted to where their hands brushed, the touch barely-there, and twisted slightly so he was facing Adam. They were so close, closer than Adam realised they’d been sitting, and Ronan moved his hand from Adam’s leg to the mattress beside him. Adam watched Ronan’s eyes dart down to his mouth, the same way they had in the car the previous night. Adam licked his lips unconsciously and watched as Ronan swallowed.

“Ronan,” he said, his voice a little unsteady. Ronan leaned forward and paused when their mouths were only a breath apart, clearly giving Adam the opportunity to pull away if he wanted him to stop. Adam raised his hand and curled it around Ronan’s bare bicep instead, and that seemed to be enough confirmation for Ronan. He closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to Adam’s, soft and exploratory and somehow everything Adam had been expecting. 

Adam let his hand slide up until he was cupping the side of Ronan’s neck, holding him close as he kissed him as gently, as reverently. Ronan had one hand on Adam’s hip, the other grasping the laptop so it didn’t fall off of his lap, and after a moment’s hesitation he pulled back and moved to set the computer on his desk. Adam mourned the loss of his warmth immediately, but he thankfully returned a second later, tangling a hand into Adam’s hair and kissing him more fiercely than before. 

Adam let his hands slide up Ronan’s ribcage, rucking up his shirt slightly in the process, and Ronan let out a quiet moan against his mouth that hit him like a punch in the gut. He pulled Ronan towards him insistently, needing to feel more of him, and Ronan pushed himself up to hitch one leg over Adam’s, straddling him and effectively closing the distance between them.

Adam brushed his tongue experimentally against Ronan’s as Ronan parted his lips slightly, and Ronan tugged at his hair in a way that made him inhale sharply and dig his blunt fingernails into Ronan’s hips. The movie was still playing in the background, though Adam could barely hear it over the sound of his own heartbeat in his good ear.

Ronan made another shaky little noise and pulled back, sucking down a breath of air. Adam leaned forward to chase his lips, but Ronan stopped him with a gentle hand on his chest. “Wait,” he said, enticingly out of breath. 

Adam complied, his hands still resting on Ronan’s hips, and he ran his thumbs over the soft fabric of his sweatpants as Ronan fought to catch his breath.

“Sorry,” he said after another beat of silence. “It’s just, uh… Sorry, I was moving too fast.”

Adam presumed Ronan meant he was moving too fast for _himself_ , because Adam hadn’t given any indication that he was opposed to anything they were doing. “It’s okay,” he said, moving his hand to run comfortingly along Ronan’s spine. “You did say you didn’t wanna pop a boner while we were watching a movie,” he added, trying to lighten the mood.

Ronan laughed, loud and surprised, and ducked his head against Adam’s shoulder to hide his expression. His breathing had evened out slightly, and he let out a soft hum as Adam continued to smooth a hand up and down his back. 

They sat in silence for a minute, still pressed flush together where Ronan was seated in his lap, and Adam leaned his cheek against the side of Ronan’s head before asking, “Why didn’t you kiss me yesterday?”

“What?” Ronan asked, his voice muffled by the fabric of Adam’s hoodie.

“In the car,” Adam clarified. “You looked like you wanted to, but…”

“I didn’t know if that’s what you wanted,” Ronan murmured, pressing his face against the side of Adam’s neck. “I didn’t wanna fuck it up.”

“But you kissed me just now,” Adam said.

“You didn’t pull away when I touched you,” was Ronan’s only explanation. He wasn’t wrong, though; if Adam hadn’t wanted to be touched, he would’ve pulled away immediately.

“I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions,” Adam admitted softly. “But, I mean, you weren’t exactly subtle about checking me out at strip poker on Thursday night.”

“Fuck you, Parrish,” Ronan laughed, nipping lightly at Adam’s throat and causing goosebumps to break out across his skin. 

“If you wanna slow down, you can’t be doing shit like that,” Adam said as Ronan continued to mouth wetly at the side of his neck.

“Sorry,” Ronan said, and Adam could hear the self satisfaction in his voice. He pulled back, though, enough to look Adam in the eyes without extracting himself entirely from his lap. “So… you wanted me to kiss you.”

Adam nodded, biting back a smile as Ronan ran a thumb across his cheekbone.

“I’d like to continue to kiss you,” Adam said, “if that’s also something you want.” Adam knew Ronan would understand that he didn’t just mean _now_ ; it was common knowledge that Ronan didn’t do casual relationships, and Adam didn’t want him to think that that’s all this was to him.

“It is,” Ronan said carefully, carding a hand absently through Adam’s hair. “I want _you_.”

Adam felt a little delirious hearing the words come out of Ronan’s mouth, and he leaned forward to kiss him gently on the lips, slow and tender and not trying to escalate to anything else. “I want you, too,” he murmured against Ronan’s cheek, and pressed a soft kiss there, too, for good measure.

“Do you want me to rewind the movie?” Ronan asked, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment as Adam rubbed his fingers against the base of his spine.

“Sure,” Adam said. “Can we cuddle this time round, or is that too PG-13 for your Catholic sensibilities?”

“You’re such an asshole,” Ronan grinned, smacking him on the arm before extracting himself and moving to grab his laptop from his desk. “Yes, we can cuddle, but you better keep your hands to yourself, pervert.”

Adam was relieved that they settled back into their usual banter so easily. It wasn’t like he’d expected things to change after Ronan kissed him, but it was reassuring that they could tease each other like they normally did and have everything feel as easy as it always had.

Ronan set the laptop on the mattress and lay down on his side, pulling his comforter over the both of them as Adam settled down comfortably behind him. He draped one arm loosely over Ronan’s waist, and Ronan laced their fingers together as he rewound the movie to the scene they’d left off on.

Ronan fell asleep halfway through the movie and Adam didn’t have the heart to wake him, merely curling himself tighter around him and holding him close while his chest rose and fell with his sleep-evened breaths.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to everyone who left comments and kudos on my previous fic! It means the world to me and 100% convinced me to continue this AU lol.  
> I hope y'all enjoyed! Further comments about what you think are always super appreciated ♥


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